Sunday, November 4, 2012

Funny Jokes

funny jokes
Below you will find some of the internet's newest and funniest jokes. Got a funny and original joke? Feel free to post them here!

Seven Wise Men

Seven wise men with knowledge so fine, 
created a pussy to their design. 
First was a butcher, 
with smart wit, 
using a knife, 
he gave it a slit, 
Second was a carpenter, 
strong and bold, 
with a hammer and chisel, 
he gave it a hole, 
Third was a tailor, 
tall and thin, 
by using red velvet, 
he lined it within, 
Fourth was a hunter, 
short and stout, 
with a piece of fox fur, 
he lined it without, 
Fifth was a fisherman, 
nasty as hell, 
threw in a fish and gave it a smell, 
Sixth was a preacher, 
whose name was McGee, 
he touched it and blessed it, 
and said it could pee, 
Last was a sailor, 
dirty little runt, 
he sucked it and fucked it, 
and called it a cunt.

Flint High School Math Test

1) Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the rest of his hold?

2) Rufus pimps 3 hos. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Rufus $800 per day crack habit?

3) Jerome wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounces will he need?

4) Willie gets $200 for a stolen BMW, $150 for stealing a Corvette, and $100 for a 4x4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes, and 3 4x4s, how many more corvettes must he steal to have $900?

5) Raoul got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out?
* Extra credit question: How much more time will he get for killing the ho that spent his money??

6) If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet , how many letters can be sprayed with 3 eight ounce cans of spray paint?

7) Hector knocked up 3 girls in the gang. There are 27 girls in his gang. What is the exact percentage of girls Hector knocked up?

8) Bernie is a lookout for the gang. Bernie has a boa constrictor that eats 3 small rats per week at a cost of $5 per rat. If Bernie makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can he feed the boa with one weeks salary?

9) Billy steals Joes skateboard. As Billy skates away at 35 mph, Joe loads his 357 Magnum. If it takes Joe 20 seconds to load his Magnum, how far away will Billy be when he gets whacked?

No comments:

Post a Comment